The Fate of the Pharisee. A Heart's Cry.

"What can you do with a heavy soul,
When you dance but there's no rock and roll?
Where can you go if the sun doesn't shine?
You sing the words but none of them rhyme.

What would I have done if it wasn't for Jesus?

Where do you go when you've lost the keys,
When all is dark and you're on your knees?
And in a world where its love betrays,
There is a light that will save the day; don't go away.

What would I have done if it wasn't for Jesus?
And what would I have become if it wasn't for Jesus?"

"What Would I Have Done?"
- Delirious?


Maybe I'm just lazy or selfish, but sometimes I feel so bogged down in our church culture. Maybe I'm just insecure, but sometimes I feel a little bit crushed by the Christianese weight on my shoulders. It feels like there is always something holding me back from being a good Christian, whether it be I don't say, "Hallelujah!" enough, or I don't raise my hands in worship, or I swear too much, or I don't send enough money to missionaries or tithe often enough, or I don't go serve in soup kitchens enough, or I don't witness to non-believers enough, or I don't attend chapel or college group enough, etc, etc, you fill in the blank. It feels like my heart goes unheard because I don't volunteer at the church enough, or because I'm too young, or just because someone is attached to their own opinions about my behavior.

Amidst the talk and expectations of having proper church practices and of what doctrines to teach and of having "good" worship music and of "appropriate" behaviors for dating, how do I save my faith from becoming a checklist?

How do I avoid the fate of the Pharisee, whose proud hearts denied them the chance of healing because they saw fit to judge with planks in their eyes and because they were focused on the semantics of church-going rather than the condition of the heart before God?

It would seem that when we are acting out of REAL love for/submission to Christ, he will direct these lesser issues into their proper order… or have we forgotten that He works for the good of those who love Him, that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him, that He will direct our paths? Has He not set us free?


All this to say that for me, all of this seems to (pardon the misappropriated phrase) "beg the question":

Why can't I just love Jesus?