Metaphorical Metaphysics. A Moral Dilemma.

(I apologize in advance for being horribly esoteric… I’m just writing down what all this feels like in my head.)

As another celebration of the wonderful holiday that is Thanksgiving comes and goes, I feel faced with the greatest and simplest paradoxes—I’m wrestling with what seems to be an enormous metaphysical conglomeration of things much too close to home and much too far over the horizon to make any ordered sense of it all. One big fight is going on in my head, and the bout bill is so large, it feels like the in-laws who can’t keep their own family matters straight came over to my place for the long weekend and started making trouble here.

My thankfulness and humble gratitude to God for the countless wonderful things He has blessed me with battles with my depression and loneliness.

The love I have for my friends battles with my frustration over their hurtful actions.

The delight I take in the relationships I have battles with my fears of not being good enough and getting hurt again.

My excitement for recent opportunities to realize my life's dreams battles with my fears of failure and commitment.

My desire to abandon my philosophical studies and my dreams to devote my life to feeding the hungry battles with my unmistakable knowledge that there is something much bigger at stake than the immediate comfort of the downtrodden.

My awe and wonder at the mystic and metaphysical battles with my disgust for empty ideological sophistry and gnostic bullshit.

At the epic war game in my mind, simplicity battles complexity.
Earth battles Quintessence, and the aether swirls around them, goading them on.
Past and Future battle, and Present keeps yelling at them both to quit complicating the situation.

The universe battles with the bum who sits at the freeway exit.

…

“What is to be done? We’re drawn to the terrible fallacy that man is desirable, and there’s no escaping into truth.”


*sigh*


At the moment, I’m at a loss for what to do… I guess the only thing I can do is just to keep singing.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him all creatures here below!
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts!
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone… and may we always keep singing.

Amen.